I don’t know kung bakit ako ganito. Kapag may mga friends ako na bigla na lang hindi magrereply sakin, bigla na lang lalayo, feel na feel ko na they are mad at me. Kaya sobrang naddown ako. Ako kasi yung tao na ayokong may nagagalit sakin kahit sino ka pa. Kaya minsan kapag di ko na talaga kaya, kinakausap ko sila. Then malalaman ko na lang na kaya hindi sila nakakareply kasi di natanggap or walang load. Tapos lalayo pero nagsabi lang na may kukunin di ko lang narinig. I don’t know, ang feeler ko na ewan. :((
My view last night!! <3
Everytime na pagkauwi ko, deretso agad ako sa window to see this. Mejj nakakawala ng stress/sakit sa ulo kahit papano. :)
Simpleng comfort lang naman hinihingi ko di pa kayang ibigay. Friends, where are you? Sa tuwing may problema na lang ako lagi kayong nawawala, lagi kayong busy at kung ano-ano pa. Everytime na lang na kailangan ko kayo, hindi kayo nagrereply. Bakit ganun? Kapag kayo naman may problema, unang-una ako sa mga nagcocomfort sa inyo. Pero kayo? Laging wala.
I just want to feel important to someone.
For once, I want to feel that my existence actually means something to somebody. I want to feel that I’m loved to, that I’m important and that I’m in the list of someone’s priority. I want to feel that I’m not worthless and that my value is much more precious than those luxuries this world has. I want to feel that I’m wanted and that everyday, someone out there is craving for my presence. I want to feel that my opinions do matter and my words are important. Like when I say “Don’t do that. It’ll hurt me and I don’t like it”, someone will hold back from doing that certain thing. I want to feel that I’m not just a waste of space, that I’m not just an ordinary friend. I want to feel that I’m special too. I want to feel that I’m not just one of those faces someone always literally passes by without even looking at me. I don’t wanna be ignored and pushed away. I don’t wanna be taken for granted.
I’m too tired of being the one who was always left out. I’m tired of waiting for someone to look at me. I’m tired of always making the first move. I’m tired of being the not-so-important friend. I’m tired of being the second choice. Of course, I want to be important too. That my friends will not go out unless I’m with them. That someone will not go to sleep unless I call him first. That someone’s day will never be complete unless he catch a glimpse of me. It doesn’t necessarily mean that I love to be chase, no it’s not like that. What I mean is, I wanna feel that someone is willing to put the effort just for me. I want my friends to realize that I’m with them and not just a shadow waiting to be noticed. I want to feel that my presence counts too. I don’t wanna be the last person on the line. Because every time they make me feel that I’m not that important, it make me question myself “Whats wrong with me?”
Bakit kasi ang bitin bitin ng weekend? One day para magpahinga, one day para gumala and one day para mag-aral please. Kulang na kulang ang 2 days!! <//3
me: oops too late gotta wait till 8 now